DadLane
StartKit. Hard-day kit

Mile 04 · Open

04

Next exit · 05 School

Toddler

Boundaries, energy, and play that isn’t chaos.

This mile is energy, a few firm lines, and repair when you lose your temper. It is not a diagnosis and it is not a personality test.

Words on this mile

Walk this mile

Do these in order.

One step, then the next link. You do not have to finish the whole mile tonight.

  1. 01Three things tonightThe short list. Then stop adding jobs.
  2. 02The stretch you are inFind the block that matches this month. Do the moves. Read the why under each one.
  3. 03Fill the DadLane sheetThree rules. One repair.
  4. 04Open the resources for this mileOfficial pages and DadLane sheets. Each card has a next step.
  5. 05Watch one videoThe video linked for this mile. Then come back to the sheet.
  6. 06Next mile: SchoolWhen this mile is in motion, open the next one. Not before.

Resources

Resources for toddler.

Official pages and DadLane sheets for this mile. Open a card, then do one next step.

40 in this view

All matching resources

Start here

If you only do three things this mile

  1. 01

    Write three rules on paper. Keep those three. Do not invent a fourth at bedtime.

  2. 02

    If you yell, repair the same day: one sentence, then the next ordinary job.

  3. 03

    If the same worry is still there after two weeks, book the clinician.

If a partner or co-parent shares this child, the three rules are the same in both rooms.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Shared mission

This week's three things

Text these, or print the card. The other adult gets the same list. Not a solo performance.

  1. 01Write three rules on paper. Keep those three. Do not invent a fourth at bedtime.
  2. 02If you yell, repair the same day: one sentence, then the next ordinary job.
  3. 03If the same worry is still there after two weeks, book the clinician.
Who else has this list
Name, and how you sent it.
Day we check it
A day this week. Not someday.
Done looks like
One sentence you can both see.

Handoff card

Same three rules. Both rooms.

Screenshot this and send it. The other adult gets the same card. Fill the blank before you send it.

Co-parenting lane

Mile 04 · Toddler

To: The other adult

  • RulesThe same three, written down. We do not invent a fourth at bedtime.
  • Wind-downSame time in both rooms. Write the time on this card.
  • OutsideOne block this week. Name the day before the week starts.
  • Do notAsk the child who is the fun one. The line is the work.

The three rules

Write them here

Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

I wish someone told me

Same sentence in both rooms.

A book will give you a philosophy. The child needs the three rules you already wrote.

Toddler visit prep

  1. Both adults use those three rules. A new rule in the grocery aisle does not count.They learn to wait for the adult who will fold.
  2. If you yell, say it today: I yelled. That was mine. I am here. Then the next ordinary job.A repair that waits until you feel better teaches them love is a mood.
  3. Same worry for fourteen days, then book the clinician. Stop saving articles on night three.The visit is the plan. A folder of links is not.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Week at a glance

Mile 04. This week.

Toddler. Three things, the note for the other adult, and one skill. Screenshot it or print it. Then stop adding jobs.

  1. 01 · This weekWrite three rules on paper. Keep those three. Do not invent a fourth at bedtime.
  2. 02 · This weekIf you yell, repair the same day: one sentence, then the next ordinary job.
  3. 03 · This weekIf the same worry is still there after two weeks, book the clinician.

Partner note

If a partner or co-parent shares this child, the three rules are the same in both rooms.

What they asked for this week

One basics skill

Three family meals

Pasta, a sheet pan, and eggs. The week is fed.

Open the three family meals card

The list

The list. Then the stretches.

Not a score. Not a medical or legal plan.

  1. 01Name three house rules you will actually keep. Drop the rest.
  2. 02Pick the consequence before you are angry. Say it in one sentence.
  3. 03After you blow it, repair in the same day: short, specific, no speech.
  4. 04One outdoor block most days. You go too.
  5. 05If behavior or development worries you, book the child’s clinician.
  6. 06If another adult shares the child, agree the three rules. Do not contradict them in front of the kid.

Stretches

Work the stretch you are in.

Each move is something you do. The line under it is why.

01

Before the melt

The line

Write three rules on paper. Keep those.

  1. Write three rules on paper. Safety, sleep, and one kindness rule are enough.Twelve rules means zero rules.
  2. Say the rule once, then do the thing you said.Repeating it louder is not a boundary.
  3. Get on the floor for ten minutes with the phone in another room.Presence is the play. Narrating your presence is not.
  4. Trade the hard hour with another adult when you can.The witching hour is a shift. Treat it like one.

02

After you lose it

The repair

Name what you did, in one sentence, at their height.

  1. Name what you did, in one sentence, at their height.They need the repair more than they need your reasons.
  2. Do not make them comfort you.That flips the job.
  3. If the same hour keeps breaking you, change the setup: food earlier, outside, a second adult.Grit is not pretending the setup is fine.
  4. If you are scared of your own anger, use the Hard-day kit and a qualified person.This page will not talk you through a safety problem.

03

Before the hard hour

The setup

Change the hour before it changes you.

  1. Food and a wind-down before the hour that usually breaks.A lecture after the melt is late.
  2. One outdoor block. You go too.The house is too small for that much energy.
  3. One small job they can finish: shoes, a cup, a toy in the bin. You stay nearby.A finished job is practice. A narrated job is a show.
  4. If the same worry lasts for weeks, book the clinician.A stack of theories is not an appointment.

Ask the clinician

Worry is a reason to book. Not a diagnosis.

If behavior or development worries you, these questions are for the child’s clinician. This page will not answer them.

  1. Is this something to watch, or something to book sooner?
  2. What should I track before the next visit, in plain notes?
  3. Who do I call if I am scared of my own anger the same day?
  4. What is a normal range here, and what is outside your plan for this child?

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

House sheet

Three rules. One repair.

Write them on a calm day. The repair line is for after you blow it.

  1. 01Rule 1Safety in one sentence. Write it on a calm day.Safety. One sentence.
  2. 02Rule 2The time. A speech at bedtime is not a rule.Sleep. The time, not a speech.
  3. 03Rule 3One kindness you will actually keep.One kindness rule you will keep.
  4. 04ConsequenceChosen before you are angry. The hard hour is a bad editor.Chosen before you are angry.
  5. 05Repair lineOne sentence, at their height, after you blow it.One sentence, at their height.
  6. 06Wind-downFood, then the time. The order is the plan.Food, then the time. Not a speech.
  7. 07OutsideWhen you both go. Fresh air is a job, not a mood.When you both go.
  8. 08Hard-hour backupA name you can call when the hour is loud.Name and number

If development worries you, or your own anger scares you, this sheet is not the help. Book the clinician. Use the Hard-day kit.

This week

Same three rules. Same wind-down.

The week is the setup. Health questions stay with the clinician. These links are further reading.

  1. Are the three rules the same ones I wrote on a calm day?
  2. What time is food, and what time is the wind-down?
  3. If the same worry has lasted for weeks, is the clinician already booked?
  4. What is the one repair sentence, and is it the one I wrote before I was angry?

HealthyChildren.org, toddler (opens in a new tab). AAP pages for this age. Not a behavior diagnosis.

Zero to Three, parenting (opens in a new tab). Free reading. Not a script from DadLane.

Child Mind Institute, parenting (opens in a new tab). Further reading. If you are scared of your anger, use the kit and a qualified person.

American Psychological Association, parenting (opens in a new tab). Further reading. The three rules still come from a calm hour in your house.

What to say

Short lines. Then stop talking.

Use them when your own sentence is about to get long. They are not medical, legal, or financial advice, and not a script for a clinician to follow.

Any mile with a clinician

To a nurse or clinician

When the hallway explanation is already leaving your head

  1. “Say that once more. I'm writing it down.”
  2. “What's the after-hours number, and what do we watch for?”
  3. “What do I do at home, and what needs a call first?”

Toddler

To your toddler

When your voice is about to get big

  1. “The rule is one sentence. Then we do it.”
  2. “I yelled. That was mine. I'm here.”
  3. “Outside. I'll go too.”

Toddler through launch

To a co-parent

When the text is about to become a case

  1. “Pickup is [time] at [place].”
  2. “The school said [one fact]. That's the note.”
  3. “I won't ask them to carry a message.”

All the lines

After you blow it

One sentence. Then the next ordinary job.

Say it once. Do not add the speech. If someone might get hurt, skip this card and call 988 or emergency services.

To the child

  1. “I yelled. That was mine, not yours.”
  2. “I'm sorry. We can try the thing again.”
  3. “The rule is the same. My voice was the problem.”

To the other adult

  1. “I blew the rule we wrote. I'll follow it the rest of today.”
  2. “I don't need you to say I was right.”
  3. “One sentence. Then the next job.”

The house

The mile sits inside a house.

Rules for this age, the week card, the fridge, the wallet, the firsts, and the helpers. Same work for both adults.

Basics

Skills that show up on this mile.

Lanes that meet this mile

Change lanes. Stay in fatherhood.

Next mile

05 · School

School years: routines, teachers, and presence.

School is open. The job becomes routine and the meeting.

See mile 05

Best videos

Videos for toddler.

Watch one. Then do the step it belongs to. These are not DadLane films.

All best videos

Further reading · optional

Books for this mile.

After the mile. The guide stays free. These titles are reading. They are not instructions from DadLane, and they are not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Free

Further reading. Not medical, legal, or financial advice. A book or an article does not replace a clinician, a lawyer, or the official rule. Full reading list