Shoulder · Pull over
988
Call or text. Then the rest.
Pull over.
A short stop. Match the hour, do the next small thing, then rejoin one mile. DadLane is not therapy, and it is not a crisis service.
If you might hurt yourself or someone else, call or text 988 before you read on. If someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services.
If someone might get hurt
988
Call or text. Do that now if you might hurt yourself or someone else. If someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services.
A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.
DadLane
Be the dad who shows up
A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.
Wallet card
The card that fits in a pocket.
Screenshot it or print it. Fold it. The show-up line is the sentence. This card is not medical advice.
Emergency
911Immediate danger
Crisis
988Call or text
Poison control
1-800-222-1222Any age, any hour
- Pediatrician
- Name and phone
- Address
- The house a caller needs
Show-up line
I'm here. Tell me the next job.
If someone might get hurt, tap 911 or 988 above before you look for the pediatrician's number. Poison control is the long number on the card.
A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.
DadLane
Be the dad who shows up
A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.
Hard-day card
The next hour, on one card.
Screenshot this, or print it. If someone might get hurt, stop reading and call. This card is not therapy.
- Call or text 988
- You might hurt yourself, or you might hurt someone else.
- Call 911
- Someone is in danger right now.
- Call 1-800-799-7233
- Someone in the house is being hurt or controlled.
- Call or text 1-800-944-4773
- Pregnancy or the weeks after birth, and you want a dad line. Not an emergency service.
Next hour
- 01If you or someone else might get hurt: call or text 988, or call emergency services. Stay if you can do that safely.
- 02Water. A chair. One text to a safe person: “Hard hour. Can you stay on the line?”
- 03If a child is with you and you are shaky, get another safe adult in the room or on the phone before you do anything else.
- 04Do not quit, drive angry, or send the long text in this hour. Those decisions wait.
Next day
- 01Sleep if you can. Eat something plain. Do one ordinary job: the meal, the pickup, the shift.
- 02Write what 988, the clinician, or the other adult told you to do next. Follow that, not a new plan you invent at midnight.
- 03If a child was part of this, write the next clinician or school contact while you remember it.
- 04If the same day keeps returning, book a qualified person where you live. This page is not treatment.
988 first. DadLane does not run these lines. When you are steady, open the mile you were on.
Who to call
Match the hour. Then stop scrolling.
Four lines. Pick the one that fits. The longer list of organizations is further down. This page does not replace them.
Next hour
The next hour is small on purpose.
Four moves. If the first one applies, do that and stop reading.
- 01If you or someone else might get hurt: call or text 988, or call emergency services. Stay if you can do that safely.
- 02Water. A chair. One text to a safe person: “Hard hour. Can you stay on the line?”
- 03If a child is with you and you are shaky, get another safe adult in the room or on the phone before you do anything else.
- 04Do not quit, drive angry, or send the long text in this hour. Those decisions wait.
Next day
Tomorrow is one ordinary job.
Not a new life. Not a speech. The thing in front of you, and the instruction a qualified person already gave you.
- 01Sleep if you can. Eat something plain. Do one ordinary job: the meal, the pickup, the shift.
- 02Write what 988, the clinician, or the other adult told you to do next. Follow that, not a new plan you invent at midnight.
- 03If a child was part of this, write the next clinician or school contact while you remember it.
- 04If the same day keeps returning, book a qualified person where you live. This page is not treatment.
Ground
Feet on the floor.
988 first. Then your feet. Then one text. Stop when you can make the call.
- Call or text 988.If you might hurt yourself or someone else, stop this list. Do the next moves only if you can stay in the room.
- Feet on the floor. Name five things you can see.Say them out loud. You are naming the room, not solving the night.
- Exhale longer than you inhale. Four slow rounds.Unclench your jaw. If the breath will not slow, go back to 988.
- Water. Sit down.If a child is with you, get another safe adult in the room or on the phone before anything else.
- Text one safe person.The text is: Hard minute. Can you stay on the line? If nobody answers, go back to 988.
One call
One next call.
Three choices. The first one is 988. Pick it if you are unsure.
When to get help
When this stop is not enough.
Unsure which line: start with 988. Danger in the room: 911. Then the line that matches the hour.
- Call or text 988.You might hurt yourself, or you might hurt someone else. If danger is in the room, call 911.
- Call 911 if someone is being hurt or controlled.If you can do it safely, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
- Stay with a child or teen who might get hurt, if that is safe.Call 988 or 911. Do not finish the talk first.
- Tell one person today.You have not slept, eaten, or left the same loop for days. Then use an official line on this page.
- Book a clinician this week.The same hour keeps breaking you. Another article is not the plan.
Official lines
Official lines and organizations.
These are established services. DadLane does not run them, and this page does not add clinical advice on top of them.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text 988Free, confidential support, 24/7. You do not have to be in a suicidal crisis to use it. Counselors handle distress, substance use, and hard nights. (opens in a new tab)
- Veterans Crisis LineCall 988, then press 1For veterans and the people who care about them. Connects to Department of Veterans Affairs responders. (opens in a new tab)
- Crisis Text LineText HOME to 741741Text-based support when a phone call is too much. (opens in a new tab)
- SAMHSA National HelplineCall 1-800-662-4357Federal treatment referral and information for mental health and substance use, 24/7, in English and Spanish. For an acute crisis, use 988. (opens in a new tab)
- National Domestic Violence HotlineCall 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788Confidential support if you or someone at home is being hurt or controlled. Advocates can help with safety planning. (opens in a new tab)
- Postpartum Support International: Help for DadsCall or text 1-800-944-4773Peer support and resources for dads during pregnancy and postpartum. PSI states the HelpLine is not an emergency service. In a crisis, use 988 or emergency services. (opens in a new tab)
- National Fatherhood Initiativefatherhood.orgAn established fatherhood organization with programs and practical resources. This is not a crisis line. (opens in a new tab)
Directory
These lines, as cards.
The numbers above stay first. The cards add who the line is for, and a next step you can open.
13 in this view
Child Mind Institute
Parenting topics
Child Mind Institute pages for parents on behavior and mental health. If tonight is dangerous, use the Hard-day kit.
For Dads who want a clinician-backed page on behavior before the next ordinary week.
- Mental health
- School
- Toddler
Child Mind Institute
Parenting through depression
A Child Mind Institute article for a parent who is depressed and still has to show up. It is not a crisis line.
For Dads who are low and still responsible for a child tonight.
- Mental health
- Any stage
Child Mind Institute
Support your teen through the tough years
Child Mind Institute clinicians on staying connected while a teen pulls away. For a drive. Not a script for a fight.
For Dads of teens who need a calm listen before the next hard conversation.
- Teens
- Mental health
- Teens
American Psychological Association
Parenting topics
American Psychological Association pages on parenting. Background you can read. Not a session.
For Dads who want the psychology association's public pages on parenting.
- Mental health
- Partner
- Toddler
Rejoin
Merge back onto one mile.
The shoulder is a stop. The map is still there when you can use it.
- 01Open the mile you were on. Do the next single job on that page. Not the whole map.
- 02If you cannot pick a mile, open the stage map and start with the child’s age.
- 03If the hard part is the house (two homes, money, coming back), open that side lane after you are steady.
- 04If the day gets loud again, come back here. Pulling over is allowed more than once.
If you are steady
One article. The line stays 988.
This stop does not sell books. If you can read, there is one piece on parenting through a hard stretch. If you cannot, stay with 988.