DadLane
StartKit. Hard-day kit

The house

Strengthen the house.

Fill these on a calm day, with both adults in the room. One pass. Then put the card where you will see it.

  1. RulesWrite them calm.One card per age. Both names. Then stop adding rules.
  2. FridgeThe numbers.911, 988, poison control, and the blanks a sitter needs.
  3. MeetingFifteen minutes.Wins, the hard thing, next week. Then the clock wins.

Walk the house

Fill these in this order.

A calm day. Both adults. One pass. Then the card goes where you will see it.

  1. 01Write the rules for the age you are inOne card. Both names. Then stop adding rules.
  2. 02Put the 15-minute meeting on the weekWins, the hard thing, next week. The clock wins.
  3. 03Fill the fridge numbers911, 988, poison control, and the blanks a sitter can read.
  4. 04Mark one riteA first you will not leave to chance. Write the date.
  5. 05This week's three thingsSame list for both adults. Check it on the day you named.

House resources

Cards for the rules, the fridge, and the week.

Each sheet is a resource: who it is for, and a next step you can print.

21 in this view

All matching resources

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

House rules · first year

Write it once. Both names.

Screens, quiet, adult jobs, and how you speak while a baby is in the room. Fill this on a calm day.

  • Age

    Year 1

    Both adults sign

  • Night

    Quiet

    Whose block

  • Jobs

    Named

    Adults only

  1. 01ScreensA phone in the crib is not a plan. Name where it goes.Not a babysitter. Where the phone goes at night.
  2. 02BedtimeThe quiet hour has an owner, or it does not happen.Whose block, and when the house gets quiet.
  3. 03ChoresA baby does not have a chore. The adults do.Adult jobs only. Name them.
  4. 04RespectThey learn the voice you use on each other.How you speak to each other while they are in the room.
  5. 05DadThe name that signs this card.Name
  6. 06PartnerThe other name. A blank is allowed if you are the only adult.Name, or the other adult
  7. 07Look againA date, or the card goes stale.The day you will reread this

A baby does not enforce a rule. The adults do. If a night is medical, the clinician's words outrank this card.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

House rules · toddler

One window. One bedtime. One job.

Four lines you will both keep. A rule invented mid-meltdown is a dare.

  • Age

    Toddler

    One of each

  • Screens

    One

    Window, then off

  • Bed

    Same

    Time every night

  1. 01ScreensOne window. A second one invented at dinner is not the rule.The one window. What is off.
  2. 02BedtimeThe same time. Getting up has one answer, already written.Same time. What happens if they get up.
  3. 03ChoresOne job they can finish. A list of eight is a fight.One job they can finish.
  4. 04RespectWrite the repair sentence on a calm day. The hard hour is a bad editor.The sentence you use when you blow it.
  5. 05DadThe name that signs this card.Name
  6. 06PartnerThe other name, so the rule is not only in your head.Name, or the other adult
  7. 07Look againA date you will actually open this card again.The day you will reread this

If the same worry lasts for weeks, book the clinician. This card is the ordinary week.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

House rules · school

The weeknight version.

Homework, sleep, a job that is theirs, and a correction with no audience.

  • Age

    School

    Weeknight card

  • Sleep

    Two

    Night and weekend

  • Work

    Theirs

    A job they finish

  1. 01ScreensThe charger has a place. Homework has an order. Write both.Where it charges. Homework before or after.
  2. 02BedtimeTwo times: the school night, and the weekend. Both written.School night, and the weekend time.
  3. 03ChoresJobs and days. Not a speech on Sunday.Which jobs, which days.
  4. 04RespectA correction with no audience. Write how it sounds before you need it.How a correction sounds. No audience.
  5. 05DadThe name that signs this card.Name
  6. 06PartnerThe other name. The child should not have to explain the rule.Name, or the other adult
  7. 07Look againThe same Sunday you open the portal. One pass, then stop.The Sunday you check the portal and this card

School rules are the school's. This card is the house. If two homes are in this, the child hears one set.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

House rules · teens

Write it when everyone is calm.

Phone, curfew, what is still yours to do, and a one-sentence rule.

  • Age

    Teen

    Write it calm

  • Home

    Curfew

    Already agreed

  • Phone

    Down

    Overnight, where

  1. 01ScreensOvernight, one place. What you can see is already decided.Phone overnight. What you can see.
  2. 02BedtimeThe curfew you agreed on a calm day. Not the one you invent at 11.School-night curfew, already agreed.
  3. 03ChoresWhat is theirs, and what you still do. Write the split.What is theirs. What is still yours.
  4. 04RespectOne sentence. Then you stop talking.The rule in one sentence. Then stop talking.
  5. 05DadThe name that signs this card.Name
  6. 06PartnerThe other name. Safety facts go adult to adult.Name, or the other adult
  7. 07Look againRevise it on a calm day. A fight is not an editing session.The day you revise it, not mid-fight

If you think they might get hurt, skip the card and call 988 or emergency services.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Family meeting

Fifteen minutes. Then stop.

Wins, the hard thing, next week's three things, one fun plan. Adult fights wait until the kids are out of the room.

  1. 01StartA clock. Fifteen minutes, then the meeting is over.Day and time. Stop at fifteen minutes.
  2. 02Who is hereNames in the room. The adult fight is a different room.Names. Adult fights wait until later.
  3. 03WinsTwo minutes. One each. Then you move on.Two minutes. One each. Then stop.
  4. 04Hard thingOne thing. No cross-examination.One thing each. No cross-examination.
  5. 05Three thingsThe same three jobs. Both adults leave with the same list.Next week's must-dos. Same list for both adults.
  6. 06Fun planOne plan with a day on it. A week with no fun is just a list.One meal, walk, or game. Name the day.

If the clock hits fifteen minutes, stop. The unfinished item goes on next week, or to the two adults alone.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Fridge sheet

The numbers a stranger in your kitchen needs.

Screenshot it or print it. Hang it where a sitter can see it. Write what the clinician told you.

  • Emergency

    911

    Immediate danger

  • Crisis

    988

    Call or text

  • Poison control

    1-800-222-1222

    Any age, any hour

  1. 01AddressThe address a caller needs when they are not from here.The house a caller needs
  2. 02Adult 1A name and a phone that picks up.Name and phone
  3. 03Adult 2The second adult, or the backup if you are the only one.Name and phone
  4. 04PickupWho may take them, and who may not. Write both.Who may take them. Who may not.
  5. 05AllergiesThe clinician's words. A guess on a fridge is a bad plan.The clinician's words, not a guess
  6. 06MedicinesWhere they are. Not a dose you invent at the sink.Where they are. Not a dose you invent.
  7. 07School or careThe name and the number a sitter can dial.Name and number

This card is not medical advice and not a dose chart. Poison control is 1-800-222-1222. If someone might get hurt, call 911 or 988.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Wallet card

The card that fits in a pocket.

Screenshot it or print it. Fold it. The show-up line is the sentence. This card is not medical advice.

Pediatrician
Name and phone
Address
The house a caller needs

Show-up line

I'm here. Tell me the next job.

If someone might get hurt, tap 911 or 988 above before you look for the pediatrician's number. Poison control is the long number on the card.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Rites of passage

The days you show up.

Seven lines. Write the date, then who is in the room. A faith mark only if that is your house.

  • Year

    7 days

    The ones you keep

  • Date

    Month

    And the day

  • Room

    Who

    Names, then stop

  1. 01BirthdayThe day, and who is in the room.Month and dayWho shows up
  2. 02First dayWho drives. The morning should not be a debate.School, care, or the new roomWho drives
  3. 03Faith markOnly if this house keeps one. A blank line is allowed.Date, only if this house keeps oneOr leave the line blank
  4. 04A day you keepThe meal that is yours. Name who cooks.The meal or holiday that is yoursWho cooks or hosts
  5. 05GraduationThe date, and who drives.Month and dayWho drives
  6. 06First jobThe first morning, and whether you are the ride.First dayWhether you drive
  7. 07Ordinary TuesdayOne date that is not a holiday. Showing up is the rite.One date this seasonWhat you will do

A blank line is allowed. Skip any day this house does not keep.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Firsts

Open this page. Then the date.

A first is a cue, not a lecture. Write the date if it has happened. Leave it blank if it has not.

  1. First bathAsk the clinician how they want it done. Open their note, not a video at the tub.Birth visit prepDate, or not yet
  2. First solidsAsk the clinician before a meal that is not milk. Write what they said.First-year visit prepDate, or not yet
  3. First night awayThe fridge card is filled. The backup is named. The note says when you call.Handoff cardDate, or not yet
  4. First sleepoverAddress, who picks up, and where the phone charges.Fridge sheetDate, or not yet
  5. First hard talkOne opener for their age. Then stop talking.Hard questionsDate, or not yet
  6. First dayWho drives. The portal login is written down.School mileDate, or not yet
  7. A week you missedOne promise you can finish. You are not late.Not-late trackDate, or not yet
  8. First job or carThe state's page, and the dollar amount you can pay. Say it once.Money timelineDate, or not yet

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

Helpers

Ask. Keep the wheel. Thank them.

Grandparents and other helpers can take a job. The bedtime, the medicine, and the clinician stay with the adults in the house.

  1. 01The askOne job, one day. Not help if you can.Can you take [job] on [day]?
  2. 02You still ownA helper takes a task. They do not take the plan.Bedtime, where medicine is, the clinician's name
  3. 03Thank youName the job. A vague thanks gets a vague next time.Thank you for [the job]. That helped.
  4. 04BoundarySay it before the visit, not at the door.Please don't [thing]. We have that one.
  5. 05The wheelA helper can drive. They do not rewrite the rule.The decision stays with the adults in the house

A thank-you names the job. A boundary names the job you are not handing over. Both fit in one text.

A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.

DadLane

Be the dad who shows up

A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.

This week

Three things. Both names.

Fill the week you are actually in. Or open a mile and copy the three things already written there.

  1. 011One job and the day. Not a theme.One job, and the day it happens
  2. 022The second. Stop adding a fourth.The second job, and the day
  3. 033The third. Then the list is closed.The third job. Then stop.
  4. 04Who has 1A name. Shared means nobody.The adult's name
  5. 05Who has 2A name. The same list both adults can see.The adult's name
  6. 06Who has 3A name. Then the week is assigned.The adult's name

Also in the house

The longer lanes.