Mile 07 · Open
07
Last exit on the map
Launch
Graduation and launch: money timing, FAFSA, and letting go.
Graduation is a calendar and a handoff. You do not file their life. You hit the dates, tell the truth about money, and let the exit be theirs.
Words on this mile
Walk this mile
Do these in order.
One step, then the next link. You do not have to finish the whole mile tonight.
- 01Three things tonightThe short list. Then stop adding jobs.
- 02The stretch you are inFind the block that matches this month. Do the moves. Read the why under each one.
- 03Fill the DadLane sheetOfficial dates. Your number. Their exit.
- 04Open the resources for this mileOfficial pages and DadLane sheets. Each card has a next step.
- 05Legal help if court is in itLegal aid, child support, and your state's court pages. Not legal advice.
- 06Watch one videoThe video linked for this mile. Then come back to the sheet.
- 07Back to the stage mapLaunch is the last mile. The lanes stay open.
Resources
Resources for launch.
Official pages and DadLane sheets for this mile. Open a card, then do one next step.
17 in this view
NHTSA
Teen driving
NHTSA on teen drivers: the risk, the rules, and the practice. Write your house rule after you read theirs.
For Dads of teens who are learning to drive or already have keys.
- Teens
- Safety
- Teens
Federal Student Aid
Apply for the FAFSA
Federal Student Aid's own start page for the FAFSA form. Copy the date from this site. Aid rules live with them and the school.
For Dads of a student who needs to start or finish the FAFSA.
- FAFSA and launch
- Money
- Launch
Federal Student Aid
StudentAid.gov
The federal front door for grants, loans, and the FAFSA. Start here when you are not sure which aid page you need.
For Dads starting the launch-year money questions with a student.
- FAFSA and launch
- Money
- Launch
Federal Student Aid
Types of federal student aid
Grants, work-study, and loans, explained by the agency that runs them. A loan is not a gift.
For Dads comparing kinds of aid before anyone signs.
- FAFSA and launch
- Money
- Launch
Legal help
Court, custody, and legal aid.
DadLane is not a law firm. This is not legal advice. Official pages for a dad who has a case, each with one next step.
15 in this view
Legal Services Corporation
Find legal aid
Legal Services Corporation was created by Congress to fund civil legal aid. Enter an address and the page names the legal aid office near you. It does not take a criminal case.
For Dads who need a lawyer for a civil problem, including custody or child support, and cannot pay one.
- Legal help
- Custody and co-parent
- Any stage
USAGov
Affordable legal aid
USA.gov lists the public doors to a free or low-cost lawyer: legal aid, LawHelp.org, free court forms, and Free Legal Answers. Family law on that page includes divorce, custody, and child support.
For Dads who want the federal list of legal aid before they pick a door.
- Legal help
- Custody and co-parent
- Any stage
American Bar Association
Free Legal Answers
A volunteer lawyer answers one civil question online. Topics include family, divorce, custody, and child support. It is not a lawyer who shows up in court, and it does not answer criminal questions. Income limits apply. Wisconsin participates.
For Dads with a specific civil question who may qualify for a written answer from a lawyer.
- Legal help
- Custody and co-parent
- Any stage
Office of Child Support Enforcement
State child support office
Child support runs through your state or tribal agency and the court that issued the order. The federal Office of Child Support Enforcement publishes the contact list. It does not take the case.
For Dads who need to apply, ask about a payment, or find the office that already has the case.
- Legal help
- Custody and co-parent
- Any stage
Start here
If you only do three things this mile
- 01
Open StudentAid.gov today. Write the FAFSA date and today's date on the aid card.
- 02
Write the dollar amount you can pay this year, or write none. Say that number once.
- 03
Before they leave, put one Sunday call or one meal on both calendars. Name the hour.
Split the dates in writing: who watches StudentAid.gov, who watches the school page, who signs.
A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.
DadLane
Be the dad who shows up
A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.
Shared mission
This week's three things
Text these, or print the card. The other adult gets the same list. Not a solo performance.
- 01Open StudentAid.gov today. Write the FAFSA date and today's date on the aid card.
- 02Write the dollar amount you can pay this year, or write none. Say that number once.
- 03Before they leave, put one Sunday call or one meal on both calendars. Name the hour.
- Who else has this list
- Name, and how you sent it.
- Day we check it
- A day this week. Not someday.
- Done looks like
- One sentence you can both see.
Handoff card
Same dates. Their life.
Screenshot this and send it. The other adult gets the same card. Fill the blank before you send it.
Mile 07 · Launch
To: The other adult
- FAFSAOne of us watches StudentAid.gov and writes the date the day we look.
- SchoolThe other watches the school portal. Priority date, not a rumor.
- MoneyThe dollar amount we can pay this year, or none. Said once.
- CallSunday, or the meal. The hour is on both calendars before they go.
Who signs
Write the name
Not medical, legal, or financial advice.
I wish someone told me
Say the number once.
College talks wander. The card has three facts: the FAFSA date, the dollar amount, the Sunday hour.
- Open StudentAid.gov. Copy the FAFSA date. Write today's date beside it so you know you checked.A season you remember is not a date they can plan around.
- One sentence: I can pay [number] this year. Or I can't. Then stop talking.A number that moves every Sunday is a fight, not a plan.
- Before the car is packed, put Sunday at a real hour on both calendars.I will call sometime is a promise they cannot watch.
A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.
DadLane
Be the dad who shows up
A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.
Week at a glance
Mile 07. This week.
Launch. Three things, the note for the other adult, and one skill. Screenshot it or print it. Then stop adding jobs.
- 01 · This weekOpen StudentAid.gov today. Write the FAFSA date and today's date on the aid card.
- 02 · This weekWrite the dollar amount you can pay this year, or write none. Say that number once.
- 03 · This weekBefore they leave, put one Sunday call or one meal on both calendars. Name the hour.
Partner note
Split the dates in writing: who watches StudentAid.gov, who watches the school page, who signs.
What they asked for this week
One basics skill
Change a tire
Off the lane, then the spare. A short trip after.
The list
The list. Then the stretches.
Not a score. Not a medical or legal plan.
- 01Open StudentAid.gov for the real FAFSA dates. Do not trust a screenshot from a group chat.
- 02List the school’s deadline, the FAFSA deadline, and one scholarship list the counselor actually uses.
- 03Have one money conversation with numbers you can point at. No speeches about your sacrifice.
- 04Ask what they want you to do, and what they want to do themselves.
- 05Keep one standing meal or call after they leave. Put it on the calendar.
- 06If a form needs a parent signature, do it the week you see it.
Stretches
Work the stretch you are in.
Each move is something you do. The line under it is why.
01
Before the spring panic
The dates
Official pages, written down.
- Sit once with StudentAid.gov and the school’s aid page. Write the dates.Aid rules change. DadLane will not guess this year’s form.
- Ask the counselor which two lists are worth an evening. Ignore the rest.Fifty tabs is not a scholarship strategy.
- If a number is tax, benefits, or investment, ask a qualified person. Bring the form.A checklist is not advice.
- Share the date list with the other parent if they are part of the paperwork.Two calendars miss the same deadline twice.
02
When they go
The exit
Do the tasks they still want from you. Stop adding extras.
- Ask which tasks are still yours. Do those. Stop adding extras.Unasked help is a second job for them.
- Say what you can pay, in a number, if money is part of this. Say what you cannot.Vague support becomes a fight in October.
- Keep one ordinary point of contact. A meal, a Sunday call, a ride.Presence after the exit is the mile. A launch speech is not.
- If letting go hurts you more than them, use your own person or the kit. Do not make them manage that.They are leaving. They are not your therapist.
03
The first month
After they land
Stay on the calendar they already agreed to.
- Put the standing meal or call on both calendars before they go.A plan you invent after they leave is a surprise.
- Week one: ask what broke. Fix the one thing they named.Five extras is you driving from the passenger seat.
- A bounced form or a signature is your job the week you see it.Their deadline does not wait for your speech.
- If the quiet house is too loud, use the kit or your own person. Then keep the call.They are not the audience for your empty room.
Ask the counselor
Official dates. Not a group chat.
The counselor, StudentAid.gov, and the school own the dates. DadLane will not guess this year’s form.
- Which deadline is the school’s, and which date did StudentAid.gov show the day I looked?
- Which two lists are worth an evening, and which can I close?
- Which signature is still mine, and which task is theirs?
- What should I stop doing, even if I want to help?
A DadLane sheet. Fill the blanks, screenshot it, or print it.
DadLane
Be the dad who shows up
A DadLane sheet. The prompts are ours. Fill the blanks in your own words. Free to print. Not medical, legal, or financial advice.
Aid calendar
Official dates. Your number. Their exit.
Write what StudentAid.gov and the school say. DadLane will not guess the form.
- 01FAFSA dateWrite today's date beside it. A season you remember is not a date.Copied from StudentAid.gov, with the day you checked
- 02School deadlineCalendar the earlier of this date and the FAFSA date.Their priority date, not a rumor
- 03Counselor's listThe counselor's list first. Fifty tabs is not a plan.The one they told you to use
- 04Second listOne more list you can open. Then close the laptop.One you can verify. Then stop.
- 05What you can paySay it once. None is a complete sentence.A number, or a clear no
- 06SignaturesYours the week you see it. Theirs stays theirs.Who signs which form
- 07Who watchesOne adult per page. Both names written down.StudentAid.gov, or the school portal
- 08After they leaveSunday at a real hour, on both calendars, before the car is packed.The standing meal or call
Tax, benefits, and investment questions go to a qualified person with the form in hand. Further reading on this mile is reading, not an aid plan.
Aid dates
Copy the page. Do not trust a screenshot.
Write the dates from the official sites. A checklist here is not tax, financial, or benefits advice.
- What date did StudentAid.gov show, and what day did I check it?
- What is the school’s priority deadline?
- What number can I pay, and who signs which form?
- What standing call or meal is on both calendars, and what day did I write it?
StudentAid.gov (opens in a new tab). The federal source. Rules change. Read it yourself.
FAFSA on StudentAid.gov (opens in a new tab). The application page. Not a promise about aid.
Types of aid, StudentAid.gov (opens in a new tab). What the words mean. Not a plan for your family.
Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, paying for college (opens in a new tab). A federal explainer. Not investment advice and not DadLane’s advice.
What to say
Short lines. Then stop talking.
Use them when your own sentence is about to get long. They are not medical, legal, or financial advice, and not a script for a clinician to follow.
Toddler through launch
To a co-parent
When the text is about to become a case
- “Pickup is [time] at [place].”
- “The school said [one fact]. That's the note.”
- “I won't ask them to carry a message.”
Any mile with a job
To your boss
When you need leave, a changed shift, or a quiet hour after a rough night
- “I need leave from [date] to [date]. What can I take, in writing?”
- “I need the shift changed on [day]. I can cover [other day].”
- “I had a rough night. I need a quiet hour at the start, then I am on the job.”
Launch
To the person leaving
When the money talk is about to become a speech
- “The FAFSA date I copied is [date]. I checked it [day].”
- “I can pay [number] this year. Or I can't. That's the whole talk.”
- “I'll call Sunday at [time]. You can be short.”
After you blow it
One sentence. Then the next ordinary job.
Say it once. Do not add the speech. If someone might get hurt, skip this card and call 988 or emergency services.
To them
- “I lectured about the form. I'm sorry. The date on the card still stands.”
- “I can sit while you fill it, or leave the room. Your call.”
- “You don't owe me a speech back.”
To the other adult
- “I turned the dollar amount into a fight. The number on the card is the talk.”
- “I will not ask them to carry a message about money.”
- “The deadline stays. The old fight waits until they are gone.”
The house
The mile sits inside a house.
Rules for this age, the week card, the fridge, the wallet, the firsts, and the helpers. Same work for both adults.
Basics
Skills that show up on this mile.
Lanes that meet this mile
Change lanes. Stay in fatherhood.
End of the map
The lanes stay open
This is the last mile on the map. The lanes stay open.
Best videos
Videos for launch.
Watch one. Then do the step it belongs to. These are not DadLane films.
Start your FAFSA form
Federal Student Aid on how to start the form at fafsa.gov. Aid rules live with them and the school. DadLane only keeps the date on your calendar.
Federal Student Aid · Official walkthrough
Further reading · optional
Books for this mile.
After the mile. The guide stays free. These titles are reading. They are not instructions from DadLane, and they are not medical, legal, or financial advice.
- How to Raise an AdultJulie Lythcott-HaimsAmazon (opens in a new tab)
- The Defining DecadeMeg JayAmazon (opens in a new tab)
- Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll BeFrank BruniAmazon (opens in a new tab)
- Grown and FlownHeffernan and HeffernanAmazon (opens in a new tab)
Free
- Federal Student AidStudentAid.govFree (opens in a new tab)
- Apply for the FAFSAStudentAid.govFree (opens in a new tab)
- Types of federal student aidStudentAid.govFree (opens in a new tab)
- Paying for collegeConsumer Financial Protection BureauFree (opens in a new tab)
- Types of federal grantsStudentAid.govFree (opens in a new tab)
- ScholarshipsStudentAid.govFree (opens in a new tab)
Further reading. Not medical, legal, or financial advice. A book or an article does not replace a clinician, a lawyer, or the official rule. Full reading list